1
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Ripped By mstoll
2
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,158
Cut off his head!
3
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,437
We've done it, we've done it!
It's here, Aulus, look!
4
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,948
- What are you talking about?
- Badvoc's head.
5
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,069
- Why have you brought it here?
- You said you wanted it on a platter.
6
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,714
Well, here it is! Look!
7
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:19,318
Well, Badvoc, you may still frighten
Aulus but you don't frighten me.
8
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Arrrrrgh!
9
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Arrrgh!
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Aulus! Aulus!
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Erm, Badvoc's...
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Sorry, I must have
fallen asleep.
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I see. I wasn't
boring you, was I?
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- No, no, not at all.
- Well, he was boring everybody else.
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As I was saying,
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Chelmsford is in a
state of emergency.
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If this drought continues,
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everything, and I mean
everything, will dry up.
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Except you, Viatorus.
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If I understand this correctly, what
you're saying is that in hot weather,
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water dries up.
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Well, if you want to be
simplistic about it, yes.
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00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,952
And it's taken you five and a
half hours to tell us that.
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My dear Aulus, may I remind you
25
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,988
that my superb civil engineering ended
the great Syrian drought disaster.
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Oh yes, or as we now know it, the
great Syrian flood disaster.
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It wasn't my fault. They
dammed the wrong river.
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Oh, get out, Viatorus, get out!
Ah, good.
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Some cool refreshing
water from the well.
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- Here, Mungo, is this water from the well?
- Yeah.
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- You sure?
- Positive.
32
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:54,313
That's funny. It's normally filthy.
Cheers.
33
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,314
Wolfbane, you're supposed
to be a clairvoyant.
34
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,796
- How long's this heatwave going to last?
- I'll tell you, Badvoc.
35
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What's that for?
36
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A pine cone is a well-known indicator
of future weather conditions.
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- A pine cone?
- Yes.
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A pine cone can tell
you the weather?
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Yes!
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00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,230
What's the weather
going to be like?
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Come on, you can tell me.
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He's a bit shy.
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- He's been a bit depressed lately.
- Ah!
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Yes, I think it's the weather.
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Come on.
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Yes.
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00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,512
Yes!
48
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:39,629
I see! Right.
49
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,798
He says he's not sure but he thinks
it's going to be a bit on the hot side.
50
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,991
Brilliant I could have told
you that without a pine cone.
51
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,110
Oh, you've upset him now!
52
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Down, Spike, down, boy!
53
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Listen, Wolfbane, I'm fed... Ah.
54
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You're a Druid. What you going
to do about this drought?
55
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,275
There's only one thing for it, Badvoc.
We'll have to do a rain dance.
56
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,788
What, in this heat? No fear!
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00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,349
This heat is getting worse.
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Just look out there.
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The citizens of Chelmsford
staggering about aimlessly.
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Bodies piled high
against the walls.
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00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,273
People tearing their clothes off and
running berserk through the streets.
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Must be pay day.
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Have you no compassion? Can you find no
charity in your heart for these people?
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00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,198
No.
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00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,031
No, neither can I.
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00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,469
Still, it is very worrying.
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00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,795
The cattle are
dropping like flies.
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00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,195
The men are dropping like flies.
69
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,959
The flies seem to be doing
rather well, though.
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00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,799
Funny, that. Come to think of
it, I've never seen a fly drop.
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00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:56,072
Perhaps we should change that expression
to dropping like cows. What do you think?
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00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,908
Viatorus, Aulus will just get
paranoid and start blaming the gods.
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It's the gods. They've
got it in for me.
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00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,237
It's probably Apollo.
He's never forgiven me.
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What for?
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00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,915
Well, many years ago
on the feast of Apollo
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I was supposed to sacrifice
an ox in his honour.
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I didn't happen to have
an ox on me at the time.
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00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,308
So what did you use?
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00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,799
A carrot.
81
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,040
A carrot?
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00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,475
Well, I put two horns
on it, I mean...
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00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,675
But Apollo wasn't satisfied, oh no.
Now he's trying to ruin me.
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00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,797
I'll be a laughing
stock in Rome.
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"Did you hear about Aulus
Paulinus?" They'll say.
86
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,234
"We put him in charge
of the wettest province
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00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,430
with the highest
rainfall and guess what?
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Everybody died of thirst!"
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00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,349
Aulus, don't get so emotional.
This is a scientific problem.
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00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,871
Fortunately you have on your
staff a man widely acknowledged
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00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,593
as the finest civil
engineer in the Empire.
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Why isn't he here, then?
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00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,713
He is!
94
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,672
Oh, I'm sorry, Viatorus.
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00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,393
I didn't recognise you
from the description.
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00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,589
Had you said a man
widely acknowledged
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00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,791
as one of the most useless
old farts in the Empire,
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00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,354
I might have made the
connection more easily.
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00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,676
I'm afraid I don't appreciate
your zany humour, Aulus.
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00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,679
Suffice it to say that I have
formulated a simple yet brilliant plan
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00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,439
to end this drought
scientifically.
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00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,393
Rain! Rain! Rain! Rain!
103
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,069
Rain! Rain! Rain! Rain!
104
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,556
Rain and rain and rain and rain!
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00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,919
- And R - A
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- I - N
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?? Come on, rain!
108
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No, it's not working. You must
be doing something wrong.
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00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,912
Right, from the top, and remember,
plenty of tits and teeth. Right!
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Hang on, hang on,
Wolfbane, Wolfbane,
111
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,271
Shouldn't we be doing
this rain dance outside?
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00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,790
- No! What if it worked? We'd get soaked!
- Good point.
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00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,310
- Right, from the top then.
- No, stop, stop, stop.
114
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,918
I've been thinking.
115
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,957
We didn't have a heatwave till
the Romans came here, right?
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00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,595
The Romans come from Rome which is
a hot place. They're used to heat.
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You see what they've done?
118
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,319
They've transported their
hot weather over here
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00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,272
to kill us off so they can
have Britain to themselves.
120
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,629
No, you can't shift
weather round like that.
121
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:35,435
"You can't shift weather..." Mungo,
you are stuck in the Stone Age.
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You've got to think
second century.
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00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:44,153
They're transporting their
weather over here in sacks.
124
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,309
How do they transport hot
sunny days in sacks?
125
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,318
I'm sorry but they do call
me Mungo the Inquisitive.
126
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,954
- Why's that?
- Why is that? That is fascinating.
127
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,390
Listen, we're living in a scientific age.
Things move on.
128
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,399
You know, I predict that one day
they'll even have a man on the moon.
129
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,352
Don't be daft! Man on the moon!
130
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,278
- Moon's too small.
- What?
131
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,153
I've seen it at night!
It's only that big!
132
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,555
"The moon's too small." Idiot!
133
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,670
They'd get small
men, wouldn't they?
134
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,916
It's all very well talking about
putting a man on the moon.
135
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,351
But you still can't get through
to directory enquiries, can you?
136
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,158
What did you say, Blag?
137
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,715
I don't know. I just had
one of my hot flushes.
138
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:34,435
Let's go and see Aulus, see what
he's going to do about this drought.
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00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,913
He's a man of science.
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00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,630
Rain and rain and rain and rain!
141
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:40,908
- R - A
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00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,995
I...
143
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,399
No, it's not going to work.
Once more from the top.
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00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,158
Are you sure this is right?
145
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,318
My dear Aulus, this is the state of
the art in meteorological technology.
146
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,071
I think we'll sacrifice that ox.
147
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,435
- We haven't got any.
- What do you mean?
148
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,630
Chelmsford is famous for its ox.
149
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,240
You can't move for
bloody ox in Chelmsford.
150
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,919
Should be called Oxford,
never mind Chelmsford.
151
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,310
- What exactly is a chelm anyway?
- Shut up!
152
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:17,153
It's quite simple. All you need to
do is to sacrifice a substitute ox.
153
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,235
A what?
154
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,795
You know, some equally large,
lumbering, dumb animal.
155
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,193
Evening!
156
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,913
Thank you, Apollo!
157
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:29,752
Listen, Aulus, this drought
is a national disaster.
158
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,358
You must do something.
159
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,392
Badvoc, I am well aware
of the current situation.
160
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,753
Look, this is the last drinking
water we have here in Chelmsford.
161
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,598
Now, as a token of
our friendship,
162
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,074
I suggest that you
and I share it.
163
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,156
No, I won't drink this water.
164
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,760
There are people who need
this water more than I do.
165
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,233
- Cheers.
- Get off.
166
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:58,552
Aulus, I have walked here through streets
lined with farmers whose crops have failed.
167
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,398
Ordinary citizens who
cannot feed their families.
168
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,591
Young people, old people,
gasping for a drop of water.
169
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,949
They look to me their
leader to help them.
170
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,915
They're my people, Aulus, so how can I sit
here and drink the last water in the land?
171
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,951
I must think of my people.
172
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,036
I must put my people first.
173
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,558
Well said, Badvoc.
174
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,079
- The people.
- The people.
175
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,037
Badvoc! Badvoc, wake up, Badvoc!
176
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,150
- Who is it?
- It's me, Wolfbane.
177
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,272
- Let me light the torch.
- No, don't! This is top secret.
178
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,357
- What do you want?
- I got something to show you.
179
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,368
Let me light the torch.
180
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:43,359
No, we don't want anyone
else to see this.
181
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,554
- What is it?
- It's a map.
182
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,238
Oh yes, of course
183
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,957
It's got that familiar mappy rustle
all maps have in total blackness.
184
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,834
Your eyes will get used to the dark
in a minute. Have you seen this?
185
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,792
- Oh yes, Wolfbane. Have you seen this?
- What?
186
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,637
Argh! Argh!
187
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,755
- Now can we light the torch?
- All right.
188
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:11,032
- What's all the noise about?
- I've made a fantastic discovery.
189
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,277
This is a map of Chelmsford
before the Romans came.
190
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:19,075
Now, if you look very carefully,
you can just the word "well".
191
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,678
Well?
192
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,994
Well!
193
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,519
Well, well!
194
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,915
Well, well, well, well, well!
195
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,957
- You see what this means?
- Yeah, there are ten wells!
196
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,315
No. No, one well!
197
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,194
Unfortunately it's 12 feet
below Aulus's front room.
198
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:44,472
- Ah, so we've got to ask Aulus if...
- No, no. We don't tell Aulus.
199
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,399
- This is British water.
- Oh, right, so we get to drink the lot.
200
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,431
No, no, Badvoc.
201
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,155
With respect, in business terms
you're being very naive.
202
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,918
It would be a waste to drink it.
203
00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,397
What we do is sell this water back
to the Romans and we all get rich.
204
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,829
Wouldn't we all die of thirst?
205
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,668
You don't succeed in business
without taking risks.
206
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,314
So what we need is a plan.
207
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,832
I've got it.
208
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,713
We go up to Aulus's villa
in the dead of night.
209
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,478
We shimmy up the
wall of the villa
210
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,479
with picks, ropes, buckets, shovels and
other items of excavating equipment.
211
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,034
We get on to the tiled roof,
dig a hole in the roof,
212
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,071
lower ourselves into
the front room.
213
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,271
We dismantle Aulus's priceless
ornate mosaic floor,
214
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,686
dig away the soil, hack
our way through the
215
00:12:30,698 --> 00:12:33,075
rock and rubble, finally
reaching the well.
216
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,837
We take out all the water we need
in the buckets, put back the rocks,
217
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,759
shift back the soil, replace the
priceless ornate mosaic floor,
218
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,950
hoist ourselves back
up on to the roof,
219
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,834
we repair the hole in the roof, shimmy
back down the side of the villa,
220
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,476
and straight back here without attracting
the attention of Aulus or his guards.
221
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,595
It's so simple it
just might work.
222
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,352
Well, as much as I'd like to
stay up chatting all night,
223
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,436
I really should be going.
224
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,278
Pardon?
225
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:06,310
Or perhaps I'll just get a couple
of porcupines, lift up your toga
226
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,669
and shove 'em where
the sun don't shine.
227
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,428
Actually, Aulus, there is something
I've been meaning to tell you.
228
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,439
I'm pregnant and you're
definitely the father.
229
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,880
Hmm?
230
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,878
- I said I'm going to bed.
- Oh, right, yes.
231
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:32,914
I'm not tired. It's too hot. I'll
just sit up here and think a while.
232
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,311
Oh, the bloody drought!
233
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,551
Get me up, quick! Get me up!
234
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,149
Aulus is still there. He
hasn't gone to bed yet.
235
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,475
You didn't tell him about
the well, did you?
236
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,751
No, no, I just said, "Sorry to
drop in unannounced, Aulus.
237
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,268
Any time you want a go on
my rope, give us a shout."
238
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,311
I didn't speak to him, you prat!
239
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,796
We'll just have to sit up
here until he's gone to bed.
240
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,111
Still, it's a lovely
moon up there.
241
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:10,318
Whenever I sense the delicate glow
from her gently smiling face,
242
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,989
my heart fills with
feelings of love and joy.
243
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,190
That pure white light
spells mystery
244
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,710
and suggests moments
of secret pleasure.
245
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:27,551
And it's then, then when I see the moon
in all her glorious, radiant beauty,
246
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,149
then I feel like
shagging fat Blodwen.
247
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,960
I didn't know you was
a romantic, Wolfbane.
248
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,389
Oh yes, it's my Celtic blood.
249
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,557
If this plan doesn't work we're
going to be seeing lots of it.
250
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,355
Sorry.
251
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,152
It's the moon.
252
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,875
The moon has a strange
effect on me.
253
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,356
- I feel like a wolf.
- I'm a bit peckish myself.
254
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,999
I suppose I better go to bed.
255
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,918
Don't think much is going
to happen tonight anyway.
256
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,074
Quick, come on, down! We
haven't got all night!
257
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,712
- Quickly!
- Aulus!
258
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,228
- I don't believe it. Up, up!
- Aulus!
259
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,591
Aulus!
260
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,428
Aulus! Aulus! Wake up, Aulus!
Wake up, wake up!
261
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,879
What? What?
262
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,310
I've just come from the map room.
One of the maps has been stolen.
263
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,713
What?
264
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,957
A map of ancient Chelmsford has
been stolen from the map room!
265
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,680
That's very peculiar,
Grasientus.
266
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,711
We've got a map room?
267
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,309
- Bet it's one of Badvoc's men.
- Grasientus, something puzzles me.
268
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,238
You mean why they want to steal
a map of old Chelmsford?
269
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,636
No, what you were doing in the map
room at three in the morning.
270
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,358
Ah yes, erm...
271
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:09,473
Well, apart from the maps I also
keep certain literature in there
272
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,911
which I browse through
often before retiring.
273
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:18,033
You mean the ones depicting
scenes from pastoral Greece.
274
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,991
Yes.
275
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,476
The ones showing shepherds
and shepherdesses
276
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,715
doing what shepherds
and shepherdesses do
277
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,990
when they're not
shepherding their sheep?
278
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,837
The very same.
279
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,677
So what's in this map room then?
280
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,280
- Well, apart from the...
- Greek porno.
281
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,277
Yes, that. Erm... a few maps.
282
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,435
- How many?
- One.
283
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,630
- And it's been stolen.
- It's appalling.
284
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,195
Well, Grasientus, we are faced
with the most serious problem.
285
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:48,028
Namely, what do we now
call the map room?
286
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,719
That's it. That's it.
287
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,116
Have you any idea who may have
stolen this map, Grasientus?
288
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,392
Well, we did think it was one
of the Britons but quite why...
289
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,151
It's very puzzling.
290
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,078
Terrible smell in here.
291
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,350
Sort of sweaty armpits.
292
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,040
Come on, Blag. Let's
start digging.
293
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,439
Right, give me a shovel.
294
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,916
Somebody must have
brought a shovel.
295
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,356
So where is this shovel shop?
296
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,790
So what time does the
shovel shop open?
297
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,999
Come on, get a move on, Wolfbane,
we haven't got all day. Dig!
298
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,635
There is only so fast I can
go using my bare hands.
299
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,513
What I need is a large
excavating implement.
300
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,357
Why don't you use your mouth?
301
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,639
Look, get back in that hole and don't
come up till you've struck water.
302
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,075
Badvoc, Wolfbane keeps
hitting me with the soil!
303
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,519
Well, why don't you move?
304
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:29,918
I can't move from Chelmsford.
My mum's getting on. Friends.
305
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,234
All right, Blag.
306
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,396
Look, Wolfbane, can
you see anything?
307
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,431
Badvoc, I'd like a wor...
308
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,433
What... have you done to my
priceless ornate mosaic floor?
309
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,996
Aulus, Aulus, is that really you?
Can I touch you?
310
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,519
It is you! You're alive!
311
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:54,111
You're safe! He's safe! Mungo, he's safe!
He's alive! Thank God!
312
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,118
We heard you were kidnapped
by Belgian terrorists.
313
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,709
And buried alive under your own floor.
Didn't we, Mungo?
314
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,479
And hacked to pieces and
your heart ripped out.
315
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,511
- Just buried.
- Oh yeah, just buried.
316
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,312
We rushed round to dig you out.
317
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,999
Our prayers have been
answered cos here you are.
318
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:14,397
And with that happy knowledge we'll bid
you good night, Aulus. Good night, Aulus.
319
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,671
No sign of any water
down here, not a drop.
320
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,554
Dry as a... Aulus.
321
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,149
- Er, Wolfbane, it was you who...
- Badvoc. Badvoc.
322
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,270
- Don't even attempt it.
- The...
323
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,517
We were looking for water that
will save us from this drought.
324
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,472
We didn't tell you cos we
thought it would be a surprise.
325
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,159
Oh, it was a surprise
all right, yes.
326
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,316
When I came back just
now and saw you three
327
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,796
peering into a massive great
hole in my mosaic floor,
328
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,957
my brain, believe it or
not, registered surprise.
329
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,037
We were convinced there was a well here.
It says so on the map.
330
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,719
That's the stolen map!
Where did you get this?
331
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,955
I got it from the
Greek porno room.
332
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,516
Look, clearly says on this
site there is a well.
333
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,551
"Site of ancient wall."
334
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,395
- Wall?
- Wall.
335
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,440
Wall.
336
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,118
Wall?
337
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,957
You know what this
means, don't you?
338
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,072
Yeah, there are five
walls and ten wells!
339
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:23,558
I don't know what you're all talking about.
W-A-L-L spells well in my book.
340
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,229
- What book is that?
- Spulling For Begunners.
341
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,478
What do you propose to do
about my mosaic floor?
342
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,671
I kept all the bits. We can
put them back together again.
343
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,711
It's easy when you
get the corners.
344
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:42,036
Be something to do on
those long winter nights.
345
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,514
It's completely destroyed!
346
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,949
Oooooh! Arrrrrgh!
347
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,433
Arrrrrgh!
348
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,633
What did you do just then?
349
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,073
I did er...
350
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,473
Oooooh!
351
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,476
Eeeeeee! Arrrrrgh!
352
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,871
That's it! The rain dance!
353
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,593
Aulus has got it!
Come on, everybody.
354
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,030
Oooooooh! Arrrrrrrrgh! Eeeeeeee!
355
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:13,039
Oooooooh! Arrrrrrgh! Eeeeeeee!
356
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,710
It's raining!
357
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,398
- Badvoc?
- Yeah?
358
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,715
- It's raining!
- I know, it's fantastic!
359
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,274
In my dining room!
360
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,800
Aulus, you know what the
problem is, don't you?
361
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,593
- What?
- You got a bloody great hole in your roof.
362
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,198
Thanks, Mungo.
363
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,710
My brother's a roofer.
I'll give you his card.
364
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,320
Aulus! Aulus! I did it!
I did it!
365
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,271
Rain! Rain!
366
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,117
I did this.
367
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,355
I beg to differ, Aulus.
It was me!
368
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,995
Very well, Viatorus, and how did
you bring on the rain then?
369
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:57,238
Well, I simply declared
today a bank holiday!
370
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:04,111
Yes! Ripped By mstoll